stucked together. :D

2009年4月21日星期二 ♥

:D HELLO GIRLS! :D下午5:56

Time really flies ever since I got to know JX.. and his confession to me.. it's like.. 2months already. At first it seems so sweet, but it seems like all his tricks were used up and he was tied down to his canoeing + outside trainings + frens and last but not least, STUDIES. It's been weeks since I really spend time with him.. or rather, even see him bah.. I can't really rmb how long.. but should be an entire month if I'm not wrong. I can't rmb how his voice sounds like, or even how he looks now. Initially, it really hurts, to think of him and miss him.. but now, the misses and passion for our r/s seems to have die down, on both of our sides. For an entire month, we spoke to each other on the phone and meet up for 3times only respectively. All these is jus a facade, all we have for each other is jus a fleeting feeling mistaken for love. It's still not too late to withdraw completely from the r/s now. I tried real hard to forget him, or at least remove him from my string of thoughts temporary.. when I could achieve it, I mistaken it that I have remove him from my life already. However, to my disappointment, the following day his shadow keeps appearing in my mind. One day I thought of him, and the next day I forgot about him.. and the cycle jus kept repeating.. What's all these about? It's making me so tired. In my heart, I really wan to see him, but I'm so scared of seeing him too. Because I dun wan him to notice my presence, as I don't know what kind of reaction would he give me. I dun wan to see him tired, but I would never really know if he's tired. I wanted so much to sms him and update him of all my stuffs, but it's either that he nv reply or he gave vague replies which gives me the impressions that actually he dun wan to know about the happenings around me. He dun bother to update me about his life too. What kind of r/s is this? It's my very first but yet it's killing me. Have we ended? Or will there even be an end to all these? I'm seemed to be trapped in this vicious cycle. Who can save me? I'm suffocating. Everything seems to come crashing down on me now. This DUMB r/s, kanna special attention for H2 maths because I got ZERO out of twenty for the COHORT TIMED ASSIGNMENT, dun understand physics at all, can't do chem even though I CAN UNDERSTAND THEM, STUPID PI which FIRMLY REFUSED TO PASS for consecutively 2times in a row, FOREVER FEELING SLEEPY and ++++++++++ to infinity! I got so stupidifying fed-up with every single thing that I RAN 4ROUNDS TODAY IN 10MINUTES N EMERGED AS FIRST RUNNER-UP! (2.4km is 6rounds in my college stadium) I dun wan all these negative feelings that are surrounding me all these while, they are trapping me, I can't breath. I have really really really tried my best to stay cheerful, but deep in my heart I'm not happy at all. I really wan a shoulder for me to cry, to stop in my track and have a REAL BREAK from all these. But it's so impossible to accomplish. Oh my~

shumin

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